For the love of god sir, I do not want to go to dinner with you!

I won’t want to go if you ask.

I won’t want to go if your wife asks.

I won’t want to go no matter who asks.

I don’t want to be your “plus one”.

I don’t want to be your wife’s “plus one”.

I don’t want to “grab a bite” with you.

I don’t want to “grab a bite” with your wife.

I’m hoping you are sensing a theme here.

You, me, food…. not happening.

So for the love of all that is holy, stop fucking emailing me.

Sincerely, 
Me.