An Open letter to Dance Dance Revolution

Dear Dance Dance Revolution;
Let me start off by saying, great game. I’ve had a great time discovering all the nuances of the dance pad and enjoyed watching the different dancers shake their groove thing while I gyrated in my living room.

However, can we take a moment and discuss the word Basic? I opened the game and eagerly worked my way through the opening training- passing with flying colors I might add. I then progressed on through the different songs, achieving a A or AA on all but one of them (which I keep going back to in hunt of that elusive A.)
So armed with my supposed new found skills, I moved on to the Master Edition. I got a drink of water and got ready as I pushed start for the game mode. Of course I didn’t over estimate my abilities so I stuck with the Basic mode.

What followed was an experience in which I am thankful all shades were shut and my husband had already retreated to bed. I was slightly ashamed that the dog had to witness it. I don’t believe that my legs were designed by the big guy upstairs to contort in such a fashion. Nor at such speeds. I think my boobs are permantly damaged, as is my chin- where my boobs kept hitting me.  By the end of the song I was thanking that same God that I had a big ass because it gave me more cushion to fall on the four times I did so.

The game has been in the box for four days now. Partly due to the fact that I have an abcessed tooth and feel like shit, but I’m not going to lie- partly because I’m afraid of what else it has in store for me the next time I open it.

So if it wouldn’t be asking too much, can you maybe send me a new game that has some language revisions in it. Nothing much maybe just phrases like “it would be best to clear the room,” or “that pillow would look great on your ass,” or maybe even “have 911 on speed dial.” I think that would be great.

Once again, outside of this one experience I’ve really enjoyed myself. I hope to enjoy myself even more with this revised product.

As always with love,


About Amanda Broyles

Amanda is amazing. Amanda is spectacular. Amanda is humble. Amanda is also a full time college student so take pity on her and don't complain when her TV reviews aren't up immediately following an episode.
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