Dear internet search person;

I was going to let this go and just get a chuckle out of it myself a few times… but I can’t.  I have to ask.  It is like a burning fire inside of me that is screaming, “for the love of God and all the saints in holy heaven above you must ask this person why!!!!!!”.  That is hard to ignore, trust me.

Which brings me to this a few things.

1.) Why were you searching about being knocked up by your dog?


2.) Why did it lead you here?

Let’s address #2 first because, truthfully, I’m frightened by #1.  The only thing I can figure is the fact that your search and my blog title both contain the words ‘knocked up’.  That’s it.  The only explanation I’ve got.  Granted there was a joke about a year ago among some friends that if I didn’t stop sleeping with the dog the results might not be that pleasant but that was just a joke.  I have no intention of doing the deed with my dog.  You hear that sound?  It is the collective sigh of relief from millions of Americans who’ve read this blog and were concerned about this.  Okay, maybe it was one person sighing really loudly.

But I can’t end this correspondence without asking why.  Why?  No, seriously, why?  Did you have a run in with a particularily fertile dog and it has now frightened you?  Do you often get freaky with Fido?  Were you just the victim of poor wording and you really meant “near my dog”?  I just don’t know and truthfully I’m not sure I really want to know.  Because in this case it might be better left to the imagination.

So in conclusion, don’t sleep with dogs.  And if you must- call Maury and make sure you get your husband and his best friend Fluffy together so they can do the big paternity test reveal.  Ratings gold right there folks, gold.


Your frightened and concerned fellow human being.


About Amanda Broyles

Amanda is amazing. Amanda is spectacular. Amanda is humble. Amanda is also a full time college student so take pity on her and don't complain when her TV reviews aren't up immediately following an episode.
This entry was posted in Dog, Open letter and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s