I don’t know if you heard, but we’ve moved again. And this time we (after many trials and tribulations) bought a house.
What you may not know is we bought an ugly house.
Bless her heart but the lady before us had some horrible, horrible decor.
Please keep in mind that this assessment is coming from a person who has used Target patio furniture in their living room for the last year or so. That is an indication to just how bad this house was. But it was sort of like Emma Thompson in Nanny McPhee (I loved that movie), even with warts and misshapen teeth you could still see a beautiful person underneath. My house is Nanny McPhee.
Thanks to severe sleep deprivation (when will I ever learn to actually do things such as pack my belongings well before a mover arrives so I don’t have to stay up to all hours of the night frantically throwing shit into a box? When?) I forgot to get “before” pictures of the entire house but here is what I do have.
This is the cabinet unit in the breakfast room which is the first thing you see (that is if your eyes aren’t immediately drawn to the stunning linoleum) when you walk in the house.
Sidenote: You may notice some Girl Scout cookies. As I was making my final drive between Tampa and south Georgia, I stopped at a truck stop and lo and behold! found myself standing in front of a table full of Girl Scout cookies. I thought this child to be a genius- GS at a truck stop where people are tired, thirsty, hungry and vunerable. Amazing. Then I overheard the conversation concerning the trucker titty bar a few exits down and I was immediately concerned for the innocence of that enterprising young Girl Scout. Anyways, back to my ugly house.
You may also notice a piece of rolled up carpet. That’s because I wasn’t in the house 9 hours before I started ripping it up. We got really lucky and the floors underneath are in very good shape.
Well that is going to have to do it for installment #1 as my eyes are losing their ability to stay open. Much has been done to This Ugly House and I’m sure all twelve of you who read this will be all a tingle with excitement as I post more.
For now, good night and thank god you don’t have ugly ass wallpaper covering up even uglier wallpaper in your homes.