Oh dear heavenly father, that was disgusting.

Because I’m unable to work out- and have been unable to work out for quite some time- I’ve had to be super vigilant about what I’m eating.

Let’s forget for a moment that I had pizza for dinner because the carpenters were here and our blue room furniture was in the kitchen area and still hasn’t moved and shit I just realized that the dishwasher is probably going to be arriving any moment now and MrBunny needs to clear out the kitchen so they can install it and shit the carpenters are coming back to finish the breakfast room…  okay, regroup.

So- I’ve had to be vigilant about what I’m eating.

It hasn’t been too hard over all.  I’ve still got a bowl of hershey’s kisses and rolos and random other chocolate that made it’s way here over the holidays sitting on the kitchen counter and has barely been touched.  It’s mainly my “sweet tooth attack” allowance of a piece or two.

Thing is- sometimes I find myself getting stuck in a rut and look for things to entertain me meal wise in the morning.  I get tired of eggs and other breakfast stuff (because I’d love nothing more than to bust out the grits!) and I love my green monster (milk, spinach, bsn dessert protein chocolate coconut candy bar flavor- yum) but even that doesn’t fit the bill all the time.

So I try shaking things up.  I was searching for such a thing this morning when I looked in the freezer and saw this.

This defines impulse buy.  It was one of those things that I came across while farting around on the internet and thought- you know, I like berry flavored stuff, why don’t I try that?

I should have just moved on.

But I didn’t.  I bought it and I tried it.

And it wasn’t bad.  I forget what I added it to but I remember thinking, well that’s different, and then putting it back into the freezer until this morning.

I’m crutching along in the kitchen so I can’t really do too much in depth so I decided to go the easy route and just try the Amazing Grass again with just water.

Oh. My. God.

What a horrible horrible idea.

Imagine if you were to take a bit of sand and mix it with water and then try and drink it.  And because sand doesn’t dissolve, every single one of those grains of sand hits the back of your throat.

That is exactly what this was like.

And for some reason when I panic over stupid shit like this, I just freeze.  Ask MrBunny about the time that I took a swig from a Dr. Pepper can that had a cigarette butt in it… while driving.  Let’s just say we almost died that night.

I thought I was dying this morning.  My body was in flux- didn’t know if it should swallow or upchuck.

Now that I think about it, I don’t think I did either.  I just spit out what was in my mouth and started doing the “dear god I just drank the most vile shit ever and now I really need to get that taste out of my mouth” dance as well as I could on crutches.

It wasn’t a pretty sight.

Part of me really really really wants to open up the trashcan and pitch that tub of nastiness in, never to be seen or heard from again.  But the other part of me is like- what the fuck!  You spent god only knows how much on that crap you better find a way to make it palatable!

So….

I don’t suppose anyone has an idea on how to make berry flavored “super food” palatable besides sneaking it into a 1 to 100 ratio smoothie or something?

All I know is until I hear of a way to avoid the sand in my gullet sensation again- the Amazing Grass stays in the freezer.

In the back.

Behind the salmon fillet that’s been there for months.

Ugh.

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About Amanda Broyles

Amanda is amazing. Amanda is spectacular. Amanda is humble. Amanda is also a full time college student so take pity on her and don't complain when her TV reviews aren't up immediately following an episode.
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