Dear Mr. Steve Jobs;

Hello.

First off, I’m a big fan. Not quite fangirl status but close. Ipod, iphone, Mac: all of it. Big fan.

However it has come to my attention that you have not been to south Georgia. I mean I don’t know why you would have but if there was any doubt, the iphone’s autocorrect feature put those to rest.

So I thought, being the giver that I am, that I would give you a little primer on a few things.

1. Oglethorpe, as in James Oglethorpe. Not that important of a guy. He just happened to be the founder of Georgia. As in the colony of Georgia. Which later became the state of Georgia. Yea, him.

You can find Oglethorpe mentioned numerous times throughout the state that he founded. You might have heard of a small little liberal arts college in Atlanta called Oglethorpe University. Up in north Georgia there is a Fort Oglethorpe. There is an Oglethorpe County. Get this- there is even a town named Oglethorpe. And you can find an Oglethorpe Rd. in many Georgia cities.

So what do you say about adding Oglethorpe to the apple dictionary? Because I’m going to go out on a limb and say it is more prevalent than “ogektgiroe” and “IDE thrips”. Are these even words? Are they often used words? Are they used more often than Oglethorpe? I don’t think so.

2. Slappey. I’m going to give you a little leeway on this one because even I had to look up where the origin of this one came from. I’m going out on a limb and guessing that it is from a family in south Georgia that is rather prevalent, including a baseball player.

Still, I think a case could be made to add this one as well. At the very least let’s not automatically replace it with ska, sloppy, or slappy. Slappy isn’t even a real word- unless you are a member of Green Day.

3. Thronateeska: The Creek Indians used this to describe southwest Georgia. It has something to do with flint. I can’t imagine that they ever substituted thromboses, thrombocytopenia, throat, or even throne when they said it. I think it’s only right that we follow their lead.

So just a few suggestions there. I’m sure you’ve heard numerous ones from all sorts of people from all over the world but I thought I’d give you a little shoutout from south Georgia.

As I sit here it occurs to me that you have never been here because you’ve never been invited.

Let me be the one to extend the invitation.

Surely you know us as the peach state but we have so much more to offer. Do you like pecans? We’ve got pecans as far as the eye can see.  Peanuts? Well shit- this is the peanut capital of the world!

And those black turtlenecks you seem so fond of? I’m sure it can be arranged that we could hook you up with a supply of cotton to outfit you in those for the rest of your life.

Come on down- I’ll throw a parade down Oglethorpe just in your honor.

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About Amanda Broyles

Amanda is amazing. Amanda is spectacular. Amanda is humble. Amanda is also a full time college student so take pity on her and don't complain when her TV reviews aren't up immediately following an episode.
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