I don’t think it is out of the realm of possibility that after I die and give my body to science, that the people who cut into my brain will exclaim, “My god! This woman stored a lot of worthless crap up here!”

I spend an exorbitant amount of time giving thought to absolutely inane topics. I’m beginning to wonder if I’ll run out of space up there. This fear keeps me up at night. Which is just another stupid thought filed away for all eternity in the steel trap… it’s a vicious cycle.

Examples:

Shibboleth. I love the word shibboleth. The shibboleth episode of The West Wing is one of my favorites. When Bartlett gives Charlie the carving set? :tear:

I always wonder what happens to people that are the subject of “pray for” signs.  Why are we praying for Charlie in the first place? Did he fall down a well? What prompts the taking down of the sign? Did Charlie get out of the well? Will his bones be found years from now like that episode of Medium? My random thoughts seem to center around tv episodes- should I cancel my Netflix membership?

Can we hunt down the first person to ever type out “aight” and cause them bodily harm?

Furthermore- who created the “i haz cheeseburger” site? Can I put them in the same room when I cause the bodily harm to the “aight” person so they have to watch and know that I’m going to do that and much worse to them? Maybe stick them with needles- one for each time my eyes bled and my soul wept thanks to their crappy “lolspeak”.

Oh and did you know there is a “learn lol speak” website? Combine this with my parent’s love for American Idol and all we need is a fourth horseman.

How can I teach Ninja the concept of “possession is nine tenths of the law”? Do dogs understand idioms? Probably not. Hell there are people who don’t really grasp idioms so I’m sure it’s beyond the ability of dogs to comprehend. Sure would be nice though.

Does the Subway on the way out of town realize that it’s May? When is the cut off for acceptably using the phrase “Start the year off right”?

How old will I be when I finally learn that working all day outside digging up a garden and fixing fence doors and various other things while wearing flip flops is not a good idea? My dogs they be barking.

I love idioms.

I wonder if my neighbor has ever heard of the concept of water conservation? Surely at some point in her 80 something years on this earth she would have seen something along the lines of “it’s rather excessive to water your lawn from sunup to sundown”. You’d think.

It’s getting hot- should I put the window units back in or just suffer this year? Swamp ass or no… decisions, decisions.

What was the person thinking when they went to Home Depot to buy lumber with their Honda Civic?

Why do I waste so much time thinking about this crap?

How does one go about giving their body to science?

I need to go to bed.