Congrats- I’m working on character development and decided to start with the easy targets, the characters that I spend my days with. So I will be “telling the story” of each of my dogs and now you get to read it. You lucky reader you!

Ginger has had a rough life. And if she could talk, she would tell you all about it. A human Ginger would be crabby and sarcastic and wonder what on earth she did to deserve all this injustice in her life.

When Ginger was a tiny puppy she was dumped in the middle of the road. As she sat on that concrete island watching cars pass she probably wondered what in the hell she was going to do next. She’d been so rudely taken from her mother, shoved in a pillowcase, and then unceremoniously chucked from a barely slowed vehicle. Her ass was bleeding for unknown reasons and she hadn’t had anything to eat or drink for hours or even days- she was a puppy so obviously has no concept of time- and it was rather cold out there in the Kentucky winter.

Whilst contemplating her dire situation a human approached and picked her up, putting her in another car. Seeing how the last car situation turned out, Ginger was less than thrilled with this turn of events but was too tired, cold, and hungry to put up much of a fuss about it.

Luckily this human was of the good variety and cared for her as much as she could with her limited income and resources. A year or so later the human started hanging out with this other human and luckily he seemed to know that dogs can’t survive off canned vegetables alone and saw to it that she was fed actual dog food.

Things were good for awhile. There was a brief moment that a new puppy came along and Ginger wondered why what she had done wrong that the humans needed a newer model but at the end of the day it wasn’t the worst thing that had ever happened- oh no, the worst thing that ever happened was when the humans left her at some random gathering of other dogs. And then some other humans came and got her and brought them to their house with an annoying yappy dog whose eye she emphatically stomped out prompting her return to the dog gathering.

There she sat, day after day, pondering how on earth she had come to this place in life when around the corner she saw her original humans! Oh happy day! Ginger returned home with them and life was once again happy.

That is until they brought IT home. IT was big and loud and whiny. IT liked to climb obstacles and was obsessed with trying to convince her to run around like a mad person/dog. IT was the worst thing that had ever happened to her- and she knew this because she’d been pretty sure that she’d seen the worst thing to ever happen and she was wrong before. THIS was the worst thing that could ever happen to her.

Time passed and she learned to tolerate IT, discovering that IT could provide some alternative to the banality of the day. Just as she was starting to warm up to IT’s presence, the worst thing that could ever happen, did just that.

The wild banshee that would make the fictional tasmanian devil look as if he had just a very mild case of ADHD was brought home by the humans. This was the worst thing that could ever happen to her. Not only was IT still around but now IT has discovered that the wild banshee was fun to play with and they spent all day acting like buffoons in a very loud and wild manner. Things were tolerable until the wild banshee decided that she would solve problems with her teeth and now Ginger spends many a day sitting in a corner, bleeding, while plotting her revenge.

This is the worst thing that could have ever happened to her but she will have her day.

Oh yes, she will have her day…

Next segment: we delve into the psyche of the stoner surfer dude that is Bronco.