My best friend and I are rather intelligent women, if I do say myself.
I mean everyone knows I’m a genius (and a legend in my own mind) and my best friend is equally as smart. Hello, she is friends with me, this shows her intelligence level is extremely high.
But for some reason, no matter how intelligent we are, we do some really stupid things.
For example, we used to take drives in the middle of the night through downtown St. Louis. Not the scenic Gateway Arch area, or the nightlife hotspots of the Landing, no we were driving around roads that had parking lots with barbed wire and abandoned buildings boarded up for years. There we were, driving around completely oblivious to the crime rate climbing as we drove by.
Then there was the time we wanted to get a puppy. We went to various shelters (I say various, but it very well could have been just the one) and decided to fill out the application. Had plans on what we were going to buy at Petsmart after we picked up the puppy- toys, a crate, food, dishes… the list was lengthy.
We were tripped up by one decision- Own or Rent? For some reason we decided rent was the better answer. We discovered how wrong we were when the shelter worker asked for written permission from our landlord.
Thing is, we were stumped by the “own or rent” question because we were both still living with our parents. If either of us had brought home a puppy, our respective mothers would have beaten us to death. Or at least done their best to that end. We both have moms who do not play. So the whole idea? Stupid, stupid, stupid.
There have been a multitude of other examples but let’s fast forward to a couple of weeks ago.
It is still hot down here in south Georgia. There was a brief respite from the 90+ degree heat (most of which I missed thanks to an ill timed long weekend in Florida) but it’s still hot.
A couple of weeks ago it was really hot.
My best friend decided to take a break from law school studying and came up for the weekend. Somehow the idea to go fishing came to mind.
Did we decide to go fishing when it was early morning and still somewhat tolerable? Oh no. We decided to get in the car about 2:30 in the afternoon. The sun beating down off the water and humid as you can imagine. Perfect time for fishing.
After about two hours or so (yes we stood in the blistering sun for two hours) during which I caught nothing and my bff caught five fish, we decided to call it a day.
What is the logical next stop for two women covered in fish scales, worm guts, and sweating like there is no tomorrow?
Winn Dixie of course.
I try not to think of small children we must have scarred, or the employees who fruitlessly tried to claim workman’s comp for emotional distress because we must have looked a fright.
Just add it to our ever growing list of bad ideas. Right after the “put nasty hands in freezer chest while poor Winn Dixie employee tries to awkwardly muscle past us due to the fact we are standing over the box he is trying to unload” entry.
I fear my picture might be up on the wall somewhere in Winn Dixie with a big red X over it.
Oh well. The bff is hopefully returning in a month or so- wonder what store we can ban ourselves from this time!