It is only 10:30 in the morning and already I’ve composed about a thousand notes to Bronco in my head. It’s going to be a long day.
Dear Bronco,
Even though, most of the time, I love your need to cuddle, I do not appreciate being awoken by your massive skull landing on my face.
Sincerely,
My concussion
Dear Bronco,
Neither you, nor I, are very small creatures so the likelihood that we can share this chair comfortably is slim.
Sincerely,
My ass
Dear Bronco,
Please stop letting Ninja hump your face. It is disturbing for all parties.
Sincerely,
The universe
Dear Bronco,
Please stop licking Ginger’s ears. It may seem like she enjoys it in the moment but once it gets sore she doesn’t and I don’t like having to deal with the constant ear infections.
Sincerely,
Ginger’s ear canals
Dear Bronco,
Just because Ninja puked on you doesn’t mean that you should pee on her.
Sincerely,
My sanity
Dear Bronco,
Just because I’m aggravated that you peed on Ninja does not mean that I wish you to clean it off of her.
Sincerely,
We have towels and a bath for that
Dear Bronco,
I understand you dislike getting a bath but trying to crawl into my lap when a.) I’m not sitting and b.) I’m currently trying to rinse shampoo off of you, is not the answer.
Sincerely,
I need a nap
Dear Bronco,
Remember how we discussed how you aren’t a small creature? Yea, lunging at me with that large body is not the best way to get me to feed you.
Sincerely,
My empty bottle of Tylenol
Dear Bronco,
I think it’s time we just give up, call it a day, and go back to bed.
Love,
Me