She isn’t the least bit remorseful.

If I were one to give a title to weeks of my life this one would be “The one where I got bit over a toilet paper roll.”

This is not to be confused with “The one where I got bit in the band storage room over a prom date.”  That would be the week of March 12th, 1997.  Loooong but entertaining story.  But that’s a story for another day.

So over the weekend I’d started feeling just run down.  You know that “I’m fixin to get a cold” feeling?  That was me.  Just didn’t feel good.  But I powered through.  Went and worked the cotton candy machine at a friend’s Halloween party (my boobs were stuck together from the amount of sugar trapped down there) and then just hung out the rest of the weekend.

Monday- still feeling a little blah, running a fever, whatever.

Monday night- Ginger is chewing on a toilet paper roll.  Ninja decides that she’d like to take a look at said toilet paper roll.  Ginger gives her customary “bitch you better back up off my toilet paper roll” growl.  Ninja responds with her “shut it ho” flying leap onto said toilet paper roll and fighting ensues.

Stupid me decided to try and break them up.  Should have just let them tear each other apart because in the end I’m the one that ended up with teeth in my arm.

It should be noted that neither of them ended up bleeding at all.  Damn dogs.

Tuesday morning- go to the dr. and get not only an antibiotic but also a tetanus shot.  Given my accident prone status one might be surprised that I was in need of a tetanus shot but I got to thinking about how many times I’ve been in the emergency room and said “ha! I’m really accident prone so surely I’ve had a tetanus shot recently”…. so I decided it was time to get another.

Oh sweet mother of god.  I do not remember the tetanus shot hurting this badly.  Honestly I can barely move my arm.  Chick put it up really high in my arm so my shoulder is also invited to the party.  Luckily I had the wherewithal to  have them put it in the same arm as the bite so only one arm hurts.  I can’t sleep because each time I roll over I wake myself up.

On top of that, the antibiotic is kicking my ass.  I honestly wish I wasn’t allergic to penicillin because not only would I love to have bubble gum flavored meds (let’s not kid ourselves here- I would so be getting the pink liquid) but clindamycin is a devil drug.  A fantastically working devil drug but a devil drug just the same.  I’ve been in a fog for three days.  Went to the grocery store last night and at one point had an out of body moment in which I realized I really shouldn’t be driving.

So now I’m just sitting here chilling. Trying to guilt trip Ninja into lying down and being quiet.  It isn’t working though.  At all.

As a matter of fact I think I just saw her point and laugh at my arm.

Methinks I need to lay off the drugs.


About Amanda Broyles

Amanda is amazing. Amanda is spectacular. Amanda is humble. Amanda is also a full time college student so take pity on her and don't complain when her TV reviews aren't up immediately following an episode.
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