LA Screenwriter

Joss Whedon is one of my screenwriting idols. The creative mastermind behind such cult classics as Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Firefly, Whedon has also written and/or directed such hits as The Avengers, Cabin in the Woods, Toy Story and Serenity.

Several years ago Joss listed his top ten writing tips:

1. FINISH IT
Actually finishing it is what I’m gonna put in as step one. You may laugh at this, but it’s true. I have so many friends who have written two-thirds of a screenplay, and then re-written it for about three years. Finishing a screenplay is first of all truly difficult, and secondly really liberating. Even if it’s not perfect, even if you know you’re gonna have to go back into it, type to the end. You have to have a little closure.

2. STRUCTURE
Structure means knowing where you’re going; making sure you don’t meander…

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This was a good way to spend an hour.

So...where to begin?

Love these.

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Puppy break!

Being contest deadline time, and working on numerous other projects, and preparing for a trip to Israel… this place hasn’t seen much love.

Best remedy for that?

More pictures of my dogs, of course.

First up, we have the G-Dog.

 

Then the Broncinator.

 

Last, but not least, Ninjaraji.

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Elderly smackdown in the produce aisle

If you were to force me to pick only one thing I love about the south, it would have to be our fierce loyalty to SEC football teams.

Today was a perfect example of that ferocity. 

I’m walking around Publix (something else I would put on a very short list of my favorite things about this here god’s country- “but a grocery store on your favorite things list? How preposterous!” you might say. And I’d say you are wrong because Publix is one of the best grocery stores in the entire world so shove it.), wearing as I often do, an Alabama tshirt.

As I crossed the threshold of the produce department, an older woman turns to me and says “Roll Tide.”
Because my mother raised me with manners, and some of them stuck, I of course replied with a “Roll Tide” of my own. 
This took place around the cut fruit section. A woman, of an advanced age herself, standing near the apples hears our exchange and within seconds bounds over to us with an energy that belies her years.

“WAR EAGLE”, she exclaimed in a very loud and boisterous manner. “WAR DAMN EAGLE!”

Of course not to be outdone, the original, and frankly, more beautiful and just overall more delightful woman, raises her voice with a hearty “ROLL TIDE ROLL!!!”

It was then things got a little weird. Here’s the deal- little old southern ladies, they stereotypically have this air about them. That they are just about as proper as can be, not a hair out of place, not an single stray pineapple chunk in their jello mold. So when you see one of those tiny little old southern women gather up all her might and bellow out “ROUND THE BOWL AND DOWN THE HOLE- ROLL TIDE ROLL” it’s a little shocking. Shocking to the point that neither the well dressed, well composed, pulchritudinous woman nor I could formulate a response to her beyond, “We’ve won more championships you know so stick that in the bowl and smoke it.”

And with that statement, the older Alabama fan walked away, ready to thump some watermelons.

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Dear Mitt Romney;

For the love of god sir, I do not want to go to dinner with you!

I won’t want to go if you ask.

I won’t want to go if your wife asks.

I won’t want to go no matter who asks.

I don’t want to be your “plus one”.

I don’t want to be your wife’s “plus one”.

I don’t want to “grab a bite” with you.

I don’t want to “grab a bite” with your wife.

I’m hoping you are sensing a theme here.

You, me, food…. not happening.

So for the love of all that is holy, stop fucking emailing me.

Sincerely, 
Me.

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DEMENTOR!!!

 

That is all.

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Four little ducks went out one day

I’m talking to my sister the other day and all of a sudden I hear “BUNNY!!! BUNNY COME HERE!!!”.

Of course thinking that perhaps something was wrong, I told him to wait a minute.

Then he says “THE DUCKS ARE IN OUR DRIVEWAY!”

That got my attention so I ran like a madwoman outside, grabbing my camera as I flew out the house.

Seriously, how cute are these guys?

 

 

 

I’m guessing they’d come over from the pond across the street. All I know is it made my morning.

And if the post title didn’t get a Raffi song stuck in your head, here you go.

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